Book Summary: How to Listen Tools For Opening Up Conversations When it Matters Most by Katie Colombus

How to Listen Tools For Opening Up Conversations When it Matters Most by Katie Colombus Details & Statistics

Statistics of How to Listen Tools For Opening Up Conversations When it Matters Most by Katie Colombus

Customer Reviews:

• 4.6 out of 5 stars (499 ratings)

Best Sellers Rank:

• #1,459,959 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
• #1,246 in Friendship (Books)
• #1,567 in Depression (Books)
• #2,491 in Anxiety Disorders (Books)

Ratings:

• 4.1 on Goodreads (397 ratings)

Genres:

• Nonfiction
• Self Help
• Psychology
• Mental Health
• Communication

Editions:

• 4 editions available

Publication Date:

• May 25, 2021

How to Listen Tools For Opening Up Conversations When it Matters Most by Katie Colombus Quotes

1. “Listening doesn’t just mean a few moments of polite attention before you get on to what you want to say; listening means being prepared to take the time to tune in to another life.”

2. “A good listener knows that silence can sometimes say far more than words. A good listener is never judgemental.”

3. “Talking – and being heard – is as necessary to humans as breathing, food, and water.”

4. “When you listen well, you are reading between the lines, paying full attention, and trying to grasp what the other person is trying to say.”

5. “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

6. “The only point of importance in any session is the unknown.”

7. “You’re not going to do any harm by asking someone how they’re feeling.”

8. “Good listening is about leaving your baggage outside the door, which frees you up to be present with the person in their space, as opposed to yours.”

9. “Accept it’s OK to not be OK.”

10. “The pandemic has shown us that our mental health is as important as our physical health. Now, it’s up to us to shape what comes next.”

How to Listen Tools For Opening Up Conversations When it Matters Most by Katie Colombus Table Of Contents

• Contents
  
• Foreword by His Royal Highness The Prince of Wales
  
• Preface by Michael Palin: Listen and learn
  
• This book
  
• PART ONE: WHY LISTENING MATTERS
  Chapter 1: Why listening is important
  Chapter 2: Loneliness and togetherness
  Chapter 3: Understanding stress
  Chapter 4: How to tell if someone needs to talk
  
• PART TWO: HOW TO BE A BETTER LISTENER
  Chapter 5: How to start a tricky conversation
  Chapter 6: Learning to Listen
  Chapter 7: Don’t give advice
  Chapter 8: Don’t make it about you
  
• PART THREE: PRACTICAL SUPPORT AND SELF-CARE
  Chapter 9: Practical ways to help
  Chapter 10: Accept it’s OK to not be OK
  Chapter 11: Self-care when supporting others
  Chapter 12: Next steps
  
• Conclusion: Over to you
  
• RESOURCES
  
• The Samaritans listening model
  
• Where to seek further support

How to Listen Tools For Opening Up Conversations When it Matters Most by Katie Colombus Book Summary

PART ONE: WHY LISTENING MATTERS

• It’s vital for emotional well-being and allows people to feel heard, validated, and empowered.
• Talking and being heard are key parts of human connection and help build resilience in difficult times.
• Active listening, which involves genuinely concentrating on what someone is saying without interrupting or offering opinions, can be invaluable for those struggling with stress, emotional pain, or mental health issues.

PART TWO: HOW TO BE A BETTER LISTENER

• The “SHUSH” method provides a helpful framework:
  • Show you care: Give the person your full attention, make eye contact, put away distractions, and use open body language.
  • Have patience: It might take time for someone to open up, so be patient and create a safe space for them to share at their own pace.
  • Use open questions: Ask questions that encourage the speaker to elaborate and explore their feelings, avoiding questions that can be answered with a simple “yes” or “no”.
  • Say it back: Reflect back what you’ve heard to ensure understanding and to show the person you are listening carefully.
  • Have courage: Don’t be put off by negative responses or silence. Allow space for the person to gather their thoughts and be willing to address any misunderstandings.
• Other important tips:
  • Avoid giving unsolicited advice or trying to “fix” the problem. Instead, focus on understanding and validating the person’s feelings.
  • Don’t make the conversation about yourself. Steer clear of sharing your own experiences unless it directly relates to helping the other person process their thoughts.
  • Listen without judgment, even if you disagree with the person’s perspective.
  • Remember that everyone’s experiences are unique, and avoid making assumptions based on your own life.

PART THREE: PRACTICAL SUPPORT AND SELF-CARE

• Offering Practical Support:
  • Research and preparation: If you suspect someone is going through a difficult time, take time to learn about the issue they may be facing. This can help you understand their experience and provide more informed support.
  • Safety planning: Help the individual create a plan for managing difficult situations and accessing support resources.
  • Assisting with practical tasks: Offer help with daily tasks like cooking, cleaning, or errands to alleviate some of their burdens.
• Self-Care:
  • Recognize your limits: It’s OK to acknowledge when you can’t provide support. You can help the person seek alternative resources.
  • Practice self-compassion: Listening to someone else’s struggles can be emotionally taxing. Make sure you are taking care of your own needs through activities that bring you joy and relaxation.
  • Build a support network: You don’t have to go through this alone. Identify people you can turn to for your emotional support.
  • Set boundaries: If the person’s issues are triggering for you, it’s OK to step back and suggest they seek support from someone else.

About the Author: Katie Colombus

Katie Colombus is an expert on communication and mental health, contributing to the Samaritans’ mission of providing support to those in emotional distress.

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