How to Be Single and Happy Book Summary

How to Be Single and Happy Book Summary

In a world that constantly glorifies romance, learning how to be single and happy can feel like swimming against the current. But according to Dr. Jennifer Taitz, a clinical psychologist and author of How to Be Single and Happy: Science-Based Strategies for Keeping Your Sanity While Looking for Love, being single is not a sentence—it’s an opportunity.

Drawing on cognitive behavioral therapy, mindfulness, and scientific research, Dr. Taitz outlines a powerful framework to help people embrace singlehood, cultivate joy, and stop feeling like happiness must wait for a partner. Below are 7 transformative lessons from the book that can help you thrive.

1. Redefine What It Means to Be Single and Happy

Many people equate being single with loneliness or failure, but that mindset is deeply flawed. Dr. Taitz invites readers to redefine singlehood not as a lack of something, but as a legitimate and fulfilling life path.

Suggestions:

• Write down what being single allows you to do (e.g., travel, pursue hobbies, explore identity).

• Stop comparing your timeline to others’.

• Ask yourself: “What would my life look like if I stopped waiting for someone to complete me?”

By shifting this narrative, you start recognizing that how to be single and happy starts with how you define happiness.

2. Let Go of Societal Pressures and Expectations

From romantic comedies to family dinners, external expectations can pressure us into thinking love is the only route to success. Dr. Taitz stresses the importance of shedding these inherited ideals.

Ideas:

• Limit your exposure to idealized media representations of love.

• Journal about where your beliefs around relationships come from.

• Practice affirmations like: “I am enough as I am.”

Letting go of these pressures creates mental space for self-acceptance, a key step in learning how to be single and happy.

3. Focus on Personal Growth and Self-Improvement

Being single offers time, energy, and emotional freedom to focus on you. Dr. Taitz recommends that singles invest in personal development, not because it will attract someone else, but because it enriches your life.

Suggestions:

• Set goals in career, fitness, or learning.

• Take online classes or join interest-based communities.

• Create a growth journal to track your progress.

When you grow as a person, you not only increase self-worth—you experience that how to be single and happy is about becoming your best self, with or without a partner.

4. Build a Supportive Social Network

Loneliness is real—but it doesn’t have to define single life. One key to being fulfilled is having a strong, reliable social circle. Dr. Taitz highlights the importance of connection over romance.

Ideas:

• Nurture friendships with regular meetups or calls.

• Join hobby groups, sports leagues, or volunteer activities.

• Identify 3–5 people you can call when you need support.

Remember: “Relationship status” doesn’t determine how supported you feel—your network does. This is another pillar of how to be single and happy.

5. Practice Self-Care and Prioritize Your Own Needs

Dr. Taitz emphasizes that self-care is not selfish—it’s survival. Many people in relationships struggle to maintain it, but singles can fully commit to wellness routines that honor their mind and body.

Suggestions:

• Establish daily rituals: exercise, meditation, journaling.

• Protect your energy by setting boundaries.

• Get adequate sleep, eat nutritious food, and limit stressors.

Treat yourself like someone you love—because mastering how to be single and happy requires that you actually enjoy your own company.

6. Embrace the Freedom and Autonomy of Being Single

Singlehood grants an unmatched level of freedom and independence. You get to decide how to spend your time, where to live, and what to pursue—without compromise.

Ideas:

• Travel solo and explore places that excite you.

• Start a passion project or side hustle.

• Design your dream day—and do it.

Use your autonomy to create a life you wouldn’t trade for anything. That’s the essence of how to be single and happy.

7. Reframe Negative Thoughts and Emotions

Feelings like loneliness or envy are natural. But staying stuck in them isn’t helpful. Dr. Taitz suggests reframing these thoughts using cognitive-behavioral strategies.

Suggestions:

• Replace “I’m unlovable” with “I’m lovable, just not in a relationship right now.”

• Challenge cognitive distortions like “Everyone else is in love.”

• Practice mindfulness and gratitude journaling.

Mindset matters. With practice, you’ll notice that learning how to be single and happy is as much about thought patterns as life circumstances.

About the Author: Amy Tintera

Amy Tintera is a New York Times bestselling author renowned for her dynamic storytelling across both young adult and adult fiction genres. Her works are celebrated for their high-stakes action, compelling characters, and explorations of identity and resilience. 

Early Life and Education

Born and raised in Austin, Texas, Tintera cultivated a passion for writing from a young age, often crafting stories during her middle school science classes. She pursued a bachelor’s degree in journalism at Texas A&M University, followed by a master’s degree in media arts with a focus on screenwriting from Emerson College. After a stint in the Hollywood film industry, she returned to her true calling: writing novels.

✍️ Literary Career

Tintera’s debut novel, Reboot (2013), introduced readers to a dystopian world where the protagonist, Wren, navigates life as a “Reboot”—a person brought back to life with enhanced abilities. The sequel, Rebel (2014), continued this gripping narrative. 

She further expanded her repertoire with the Ruined trilogy: Ruined (2016), Avenged (2017), and Allied (2018). This fantasy series follows Emelina Flores as she seeks vengeance and navigates political intrigue in a war-torn kingdom.

Attachments & References

• Get Your Copy Of The Book: How to Be Single and Happy: Science-Based Strategies for Keeping Your Sanity While Looking for a Soul Mate by Jennifer Taitz 
• Explore Similar Books
• Amazon’s book page
• Goodreaders’s book page
• Author’s image source: abct.org
• Book Cover: Amazon.com
• Quote sources: Goodreads

Statistics: Why Being Single Can Be Better for You

• 50% of U.S. adults are single, according to Pew Research (2021).

• A 2017 study published in Journal of Social and Personal Relationships found that single people experience more personal growth than married individuals.

• The American Psychological Association notes that strong social connections, not romantic relationships alone, are the key predictor of happiness.

❓ Frequently Asked Questions

Q1: Is it really possible to be happy without a relationship?
Yes. Science and psychology both affirm that happiness is not contingent on being in a relationship. It’s about self-fulfillment, purpose, and social support.

Q2: How do I deal with loneliness while being single?
Build a strong support network, stay socially engaged, and create meaningful routines that enrich your day-to-day experience.

Q3: What if I still want a relationship?
That’s normal. Dr. Taitz doesn’t ask you to give up on love—but she teaches you to thrive regardless of your relationship status.

Q4: Is this book helpful after a breakup?
Absolutely. It’s especially powerful for those navigating heartbreak, as it promotes healing, self-care, and emotional resilience.

 Learning How to Be Single and Happy

The key takeaway from Jennifer Taitz’s How to Be Single and Happy is that your joy doesn’t need to be delayed until you find a partner. Instead, you can build a meaningful, exciting, and fulfilling life starting now. By practicing these 7 science-based strategies, you can transform singlehood into a season of power—not waiting.

Your relationship status doesn’t define your worth—how you live your life does.